Monday, January 23, 2012

Common Cur-de-see?

Definition of Common Courtesy from
a. to be polite and to respond timely to invitations because you shouldn't be a douche and say MAYBE to an invitation because you know people have to fucking cook for a certain amount of people!!!

b. to talk to other guests at a dinner party and not avoiding eye contact and actually listening to the hostess when she says "please sit down"

c. not being a major douchebag
With that being said...
My workout today was good. A good burn and worked off all the tootsie rolls I destroyed after the Ravens decided to kick their ball into the audience, hitting that critically ill child from The Make a Wish Foundation. (But that's a LONG story!)
Yeah!! You sit there and think about how pissed off you made me!!
 Any who...
Usually after I finish up on the machines, I will grab my book and go into the sauna. So, I have the temperature set so that when I finish a chapter of my book, it is about time for me to get out. I start reading my book and I get about halfway through my chapter and someone comes in. She settles down in the corner and then walks out. Seconds later, she comes back and relaxes again.
What I failed to notice until later is that this little heifer turned the temperature all the way up...
Okay, this is the part that I don't get... If you see me in the sauna, wouldn't you LEAVE IT ALONE until after I left? Do you think there was a reason it wasn't on level a billion?!! Did my forehead say I wanted to sweat like Buggs Bunny in a rabbit stew? I feel like I need a sign that says this...
P.S. I know I spelled temperature wrong, but in real life, I have no idea how to spell that. The gym doesn't give me free access to
So, I'm still trying to read my book, but unfortunately my lips are burning and my contacts are shriveling up in my eyes. My hair is about to start a brush fire and I'm sweating so much that my book is floating in its own mini pool. Here are the two only things that I wanted to do at that very moment...
  1. I wanted to go turn the heat back down, come back into the sauna and beat her with my five hundred page novel that I could no longer read because my contact lenses have turned into raisins.
  2. Start humming to Nellys, "Hot In Hurr" and proceed to take off my clothes and sucker slap her with my sweaty underwear.
But NO, I decide to stay in there and continue to read my book in the Sahara Desert because it is a good book!
So, after I finish reading my chapter, I walk out of the sauna and throw my face under the closest faucet I could find and drink all the water in Gloucester County. Well, I can honestly say that this will never happen again because I will be using that sticky note from now on. You know, it is a sugarcoated way of saying, "LEAVE IT ALONE!!" I'd like to come out of the sauna alive every now and then!!


  1. Sherri,

    When you were done and left out, and I'm assuming that the (turn up the temperature) lady was still in there I would have turned the temperature down.

  2. Just to clear things up... I went to the gym again tonight and (of course) sauna lady repeats the same thing she did yesterday. So, what did I do? I finished my book up and as I was leaving she was like, "Sweetheart, can you turn the light out?" DUH!!! I was planning on doing that from the start, she was just helping me not feel as bad? But, I definitely turned that sauna down to six and went home. I guess her ass had to get up then!! MMMUUUUHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!