Monday, August 12, 2013

I Miss You, Microwave!!

This is an update of where I currently stand...
Weight: 235.2 (POINT TWO!!)
The first time I have done this in forever so I will have to change them on myfitnesspal.
Boobs: lol! None of your business...
Waist: 39
Hips: 49
Thighs: 48
From these measurements, I have accepted a couple of the following facts:
  1. I'm asymmetrical.
  2. I wore a dress that fit last year to the funeral and it was a hot mess.  I wanted to cut pressure points all over that dress.  I CLEARLY have gained weight from this time last year!  But on a brighter side, the dress didn't fit at all two months ago.
  3. Just shed light on this about an hour ago...  I can't eat an entire foot long sub from Subway anymore.  It was fun trying to shove that buffalo chicken thing down my throat but I had to admitted defeat.  If choking down a sub makes me write blogs then you will know every time I try.  I have noticed that I get full quicker.  At my Uncle's retirement party, my goal was to overeat because I haven't had "cook-out" food at all this year.  After my first plate containing a rib, potato salad, hot dog, and one egg, I had to throw the towel in.  Very disappointed in myself...  I know I'm going to be craving a hamburger for, forever now!!
  4. My current weight is two thirty five point two...  I weighed 235 two weeks ago. I'm not mad nor upset...  I'm fucking pissed!!  Unfortunately, I have no control over this issue.  I use to beat myself up until I realized what was happening. I'm going to dumb it down so I can come back and read this again next month.

This Is The Way Sherri's Body Works
By: Sherri Clayborne
  •  The week before the dreaded "P", I will gain four (4) pounds.
  • These pounds will stay with me for three (3) days regardless of what I do.
  • If I want to walk the entire Beaverdam trail backwards, I will still weigh the same.
  • On the fourth day, I will wake up and weigh-in at the same weight I was seven days ago (like I did this morning).
  • Nothing will change this pattern so I need to just brace myself for this awesome week.
  • I am not slacking...
  • I am not overeating...
  • I am not pregnant...

  1. (This is suppose to be five but Blogger not having it tonight!) I miss my Goddamn microwave!!  I'm sorry to throw God in there like that but I'm hoping He will hear my plea/prayer for a new microwave.  I really don't ask for much but Santa is not available till Christmas and I ain't waiting that long!!  Better yet, instead of praying for a new microwave, I should just pray for a lightning storm.  That way, I can throw my Lean Cuisine out in the front yard in hopes that it will get struck because it would cook faster than putting it in the oven for hours.  And I can't just buy a new one...  The way this house works, the person who caves and buys a new microwave is the one who broke the old one.  Everyone is guilty until proven innocent.  Do you know how much cereal I have eaten for dinner because I don't want to pull out the frying pan?  I have wiped out my whole stock pile of cereal in four days.  But, I ain't buying that microwave...  If I do buy a microwave, it's going in my room.  Then I'll be one wet bar away from renting it out as a Best Western room.  Until then, it's the Cereal Dinner Diet for me...

School is in two weeks and I'm already stressing out.  If it's not trying to figure out who to rob in order to afford these books, then it's the fear of gaining weight during the semester.  I was already hurting from missing two cardio classes but recently, from a sudden schedule change, learned that I will be missing three.  I really don't feel like telling my Tabada instructor that I will not be returning after the 22nd, so I won't.  I feel like I'm going to suffer, it's gonna suck, but I have to believe in myself that I will do good.  In the future, all this will pay off.

Thursday, August 8, 2013


As I mentioned in my last blog, I was in need of a new pair of shoes.
Well, I found two pairs!!
I went to Shoe Carnival and the shoes just fell in love with me.

The first pair just stuck out from its unique colors.  I realized if I wear these shoes while traveling through the Courthouse, everything should see me!!  A Sherri with kneecaps is a happy Sherri indeed...
The picture gives these shoes no justice...
They are a bright fucking pair of shoes...
They made my eyes hurt after debating whether or not to get them...
A cool thing about these shoes (besides the obnoxious color) is the memory foam inside the shoes.  Theses shoes...are not my gym shoes. More than likely they are going to end up as my school/running from wolves in the woods shoes.
Since Shoe Carnival's current special sponsored a "BOGO for half price" these FILA shoes were only twenty dollars.
Yes, it was a given that my new pair of shoes would be Adidas.  These shoes have that unexplainable comfort that makes you want to slap your momma!  This is also the same comfort that gives me the strength and happiness that I need to preform these death defying cardio classes.  If my feet are comfortable, I'm going to be more active.  I'm not going to announce these as the best shoes ever because I have not worn every shoe ever made.  But, I can say they are way better than whatever these crappy, "made in China" department stores are selling. 
Since I had to pay full price for this pair of shoes, their retail value totaled $55.  That is still not bad compared to the $70 I paid for the old pair.  Regardless, when it comes to comfort, I have no price limit.  My bills will just have to except the fact that those shoes were more important than them.
But on a real note, I have been suffering with my emotional eating.  A good friend/mom/aunt/cousin to many has recently passed away and I'm currently still in my state of disbelief.  The way this year is playing out, I should be preparing for the unexpected.  I guess what I'm trying to say is to never take anything in this life for granted.  You will not know how much you appreciate something until it's gone...forever.


Thursday, August 1, 2013

The Day is Here...

I decided for this blog, to show off my awesome sock collection!

Somebody at work asked me the other day, "Why do you wear socks that go up to my knees?" 
My response was:

Hypothetically speaking, I do give a fuck about what animals think of me because if I didn't there would have been one less owl in the world last week.  I just found this photo really funny.

This is a sad morning for the Adidas family.  My poor shoes that were by my side since day one will perform their last class today.  The holes on each side are growing bigger with each workout and I guess it is finally time to let gggggooooooohhhooohhoooo!!!!
*blubbers hysterically*
I'm real picky when it comes to buying athletic shoes because if their not comfortable, I won't do anything.  My giant wide size eleven foot must be relaxed in whatever shoe I put on in order for me to maintain happiness.  Just for the record, my Adidas were the most comfortable, light, and flexible shoe I have EVER worn in my life.  I could do jumping jacks like they were nothing because the shoe absorbed all shock.
So, I'm going to go to Shoe Carnival with an open mind in hopes that I will find a shoe either like or better than my Adidas.
Wish me luck!!
P.S.-Wish me a LOT of luck.  I more than likely will be participating in Zumba tomorrow barefooted..