I Miss You, Microwave!!

This is an update of where I currently stand...
Weight: 235.2 (POINT TWO!!)
Measurements
The first time I have done this in forever so I will have to change them on myfitnesspal.
Boobs: lol! None of your business...
Waist: 39
Hips: 49
Thighs: 48
From these measurements, I have accepted a couple of the following facts:

1. I'm asymmetrical.
2. I wore a dress that fit last year to the funeral and it was a hot mess.  I wanted to cut pressure points all over that dress.  I CLEARLY have gained weight from this time last year!  But on a brighter side, the dress didn't fit at all two months ago.
3. Just shed light on this about an hour ago...  I can't eat an entire foot long sub from Subway anymore.  It was fun trying to shove that buffalo chicken thing down my throat but I had to admitted defeat.  If choking down a sub makes me write blogs then you will know every time I try.  I have noticed that I get full quicker.  At my Uncle's retirement party, my goal was to overeat because I haven't had "cook-out" food at all this year.  After my first plate containing a rib, potato salad, hot dog, and one egg, I had to throw the towel in.  Very disappointed in myself...  I know I'm going to be craving a hamburger for, forever now!!
4. My current weight is two thirty five point two...  I weighed 235 two weeks ago. I'm not mad nor upset...  I'm fucking pissed!!  Unfortunately, I have no control over this issue.  I use to beat myself up until I realized what was happening. I'm going to dumb it down so I can come back and read this again next month.

This Is The Way Sherri's Body Works
By: Sherri Clayborne

•  The week before the dreaded "P", I will gain four (4) pounds.
• These pounds will stay with me for three (3) days regardless of what I do.
• If I want to walk the entire Beaverdam trail backwards, I will still weigh the same.
• On the fourth day, I will wake up and weigh-in at the same weight I was seven days ago (like I did this morning).
• Nothing will change this pattern so I need to just brace myself for this awesome week.
• I am not slacking...
• I am not overeating...
• I am not pregnant...
• DEAL WITH IT!!

1. (This is suppose to be five but Blogger not having it tonight!) I miss my Goddamn microwave!!  I'm sorry to throw God in there like that but I'm hoping He will hear my plea/prayer for a new microwave.  I really don't ask for much but Santa is not available till Christmas and I ain't waiting that long!!  Better yet, instead of praying for a new microwave, I should just pray for a lightning storm.  That way, I can throw my Lean Cuisine out in the front yard in hopes that it will get struck because it would cook faster than putting it in the oven for hours.  And I can't just buy a new one...  The way this house works, the person who caves and buys a new microwave is the one who broke the old one.  Everyone is guilty until proven innocent.  Do you know how much cereal I have eaten for dinner because I don't want to pull out the frying pan?  I have wiped out my whole stock pile of cereal in four days.  But, I ain't buying that microwave...  If I do buy a microwave, it's going in my room.  Then I'll be one wet bar away from renting it out as a Best Western room.  Until then, it's the Cereal Dinner Diet for me...

School is in two weeks and I'm already stressing out.  If it's not trying to figure out who to rob in order to afford these books, then it's the fear of gaining weight during the semester.  I was already hurting from missing two cardio classes but recently, from a sudden schedule change, learned that I will be missing three.  I really don't feel like telling my Tabada instructor that I will not be returning after the 22nd, so I won't.  I feel like I'm going to suffer, it's gonna suck, but I have to believe in myself that I will do good.  In the future, all this will pay off.