I Miss You, Microwave!!

This is an update of where I currently stand...
Weight: 235.2 (POINT TWO!!)
Measurements
The first time I have done this in forever so I will have to change them on myfitnesspal.
Boobs: lol! None of your business...
Waist: 39
Hips: 49
Thighs: 48
From these measurements, I have accepted a couple of the following facts:

1. I'm asymmetrical.
2. I wore a dress that fit last year to the funeral and it was a hot mess.  I wanted to cut pressure points all over that dress.  I CLEARLY have gained weight from this time last year!  But on a brighter side, the dress didn't fit at all two months ago.
3. Just shed light on this about an hour ago...  I can't eat an entire foot long sub from Subway anymore.  It was fun trying to shove that buffalo chicken thing down my throat but I had to admitted defeat.  If choking down a sub makes me write blogs then you will know every time I try.  I have noticed that I get full quicker.  At my Uncle's retirement party, my goal was to overeat because I haven't had "cook-out" food at all this year.  After my first plate containing a rib, potato salad, hot dog, and one egg, I had to throw the towel in.  Very disappointed in myself...  I know I'm going to be craving a hamburger for, forever now!!
4. My current weight is two thirty five point two...  I weighed 235 two weeks ago. I'm not mad nor upset...  I'm fucking pissed!!  Unfortunately, I have no control over this issue.  I use to beat myself up until I realized what was happening. I'm going to dumb it down so I can come back and read this again next month.

This Is The Way Sherri's Body Works
By: Sherri Clayborne

•  The week before the dreaded "P", I will gain four (4) pounds.
• These pounds will stay with me for three (3) days regardless of what I do.
• If I want to walk the entire Beaverdam trail backwards, I will still weigh the same.
• On the fourth day, I will wake up and weigh-in at the same weight I was seven days ago (like I did this morning).
• Nothing will change this pattern so I need to just brace myself for this awesome week.
• I am not slacking...
• I am not overeating...
• I am not pregnant...
• DEAL WITH IT!!

1. (This is suppose to be five but Blogger not having it tonight!) I miss my Goddamn microwave!!  I'm sorry to throw God in there like that but I'm hoping He will hear my plea/prayer for a new microwave.  I really don't ask for much but Santa is not available till Christmas and I ain't waiting that long!!  Better yet, instead of praying for a new microwave, I should just pray for a lightning storm.  That way, I can throw my Lean Cuisine out in the front yard in hopes that it will get struck because it would cook faster than putting it in the oven for hours.  And I can't just buy a new one...  The way this house works, the person who caves and buys a new microwave is the one who broke the old one.  Everyone is guilty until proven innocent.  Do you know how much cereal I have eaten for dinner because I don't want to pull out the frying pan?  I have wiped out my whole stock pile of cereal in four days.  But, I ain't buying that microwave...  If I do buy a microwave, it's going in my room.  Then I'll be one wet bar away from renting it out as a Best Western room.  Until then, it's the Cereal Dinner Diet for me...

School is in two weeks and I'm already stressing out.  If it's not trying to figure out who to rob in order to afford these books, then it's the fear of gaining weight during the semester.  I was already hurting from missing two cardio classes but recently, from a sudden schedule change, learned that I will be missing three.  I really don't feel like telling my Tabada instructor that I will not be returning after the 22nd, so I won't.  I feel like I'm going to suffer, it's gonna suck, but I have to believe in myself that I will do good.  In the future, all this will pay off.

Shoes!!

As I mentioned in my last blog, I was in need of a new pair of shoes.
Well, I found two pairs!!
I went to Shoe Carnival and the shoes just fell in love with me.

The first pair just stuck out from its unique colors.  I realized if I wear these shoes while traveling through the Courthouse, everything should see me!!  A Sherri with kneecaps is a happy Sherri indeed...
The picture gives these shoes no justice...
They are a bright fucking pair of shoes...
They made my eyes hurt after debating whether or not to get them...
A cool thing about these shoes (besides the obnoxious color) is the memory foam inside the shoes.  Theses shoes...are not my gym shoes. More than likely they are going to end up as my school/running from wolves in the woods shoes.
Since Shoe Carnival's current special sponsored a "BOGO for half price" these FILA shoes were only twenty dollars.

 HHHEEELLLLOOOO Sexy Adidas!!!

Yes, it was a given that my new pair of shoes would be Adidas.  These shoes have that unexplainable comfort that makes you want to slap your momma!  This is also the same comfort that gives me the strength and happiness that I need to preform these death defying cardio classes.  If my feet are comfortable, I'm going to be more active.  I'm not going to announce these as the best shoes ever because I have not worn every shoe ever made.  But, I can say they are way better than whatever these crappy, "made in China" department stores are selling. 

Since I had to pay full price for this pair of shoes, their retail value totaled $55.  That is still not bad compared to the $70 I paid for the old pair.  Regardless, when it comes to comfort, I have no price limit.  My bills will just have to except the fact that those shoes were more important than them.

 

 

 

 

But on a real note, I have been suffering with my emotional eating.  A good friend/mom/aunt/cousin to many has recently passed away and I'm currently still in my state of disbelief.  The way this year is playing out, I should be preparing for the unexpected.  I guess what I'm trying to say is to never take anything in this life for granted.  You will not know how much you appreciate something until it's gone...forever.





 

The Day is Here...

I decided for this blog, to show off my awesome sock collection!

 

Somebody at work asked me the other day, "Why do you wear socks that go up to my knees?" 

My response was:

"BECAUSE I DON'T GIVE A FUCK WHAT PEOPLE THINK ABOUT ME!!"



Hypothetically speaking, I do give a fuck about what animals think of me because if I didn't there would have been one less owl in the world last week.  I just found this photo really funny.

 

 

This is a sad morning for the Adidas family.  My poor shoes that were by my side since day one will perform their last class today.  The holes on each side are growing bigger with each workout and I guess it is finally time to let gggggooooooohhhooohhoooo!!!!

*cries*

WWWWAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

*blubbers hysterically*

 

 

I'm real picky when it comes to buying athletic shoes because if their not comfortable, I won't do anything.  My giant wide size eleven foot must be relaxed in whatever shoe I put on in order for me to maintain happiness.  Just for the record, my Adidas were the most comfortable, light, and flexible shoe I have EVER worn in my life.  I could do jumping jacks like they were nothing because the shoe absorbed all shock.

So, I'm going to go to Shoe Carnival with an open mind in hopes that I will find a shoe either like or better than my Adidas.

Wish me luck!!

 

P.S.-Wish me a LOT of luck.  I more than likely will be participating in Zumba tomorrow barefooted..





August BWLW Challenge

On this lovely afternoon, I decided to blog.  Also, it's cause I blew out both my thighs during Monday's step class.  Nothing like cruising in style in my Wal-Mart motor cart.  I had a little girl at work approach me and question why I was riding around in the chair.  I simply looked at her and said, "I'm disabled" and carried on with my business.  The pain in my thighs couldn't even be numbed by pain-killers or ice cream.  At the end of the day, I convinced myself to skip the gym and go home.  I'm hoping to make a full recovery before kick boxing tomorrow morning.
But anywho...
The real reason for this blog is to explain the new challenge for August.  The BWLW Challenge for August is the No Junk Food, No Fast Food, No Processed Sugars, and No White Flour.
...where to start...
I'm not going to call B.S. on this immediately.
BUT!!
I'm not a fan of challenges that ask for too much.  Throughout the entire blog it repeats the urge to consult a physician before starting.  If you have to constantly repeat and re-word asking consent, then it's probably not the best challenge in the world.  This challenge is focused more on cooking then anything.  With school approaching quickly, cooking is almost not an option.  It's either going to be something easy to fix "like a salad" or something I didn't fix at all, "like Panera Bread." 
With that said, I'm not going to abandon the challenge, but I'm quite sure I will fail it on the first day.  It's just too much of a drastic change from not eating meat to only eating meat and fruits.  It I was to plan my meals in a day, it would look like this:
Breakfast: Fruit
Lunch: Fruit
Dinner: T-Bone Steak
That meal plan sounds like a heart attack in three days.
The most contradicting part of the challenge for me is the no processed sugar.  Almost 75% of the foods I eat/drink have processed sugars in it.  The only way that I am going to work without sugar in my system is if my job gives me full permission to zap anyone irritating with the electric fly swatter.  We all know that will never happen so...

SUGA!!!!

The other reason is because I eat Special K Cereal and it also contains processed sugar.  The challenge collides with my Special K diet and believe me, I'm going to stick to the plan that is working.
So all in all, I'm going to participate as much as I can with the challenge, but if I'm not eating enough or starving myself, I will stop.
On a positive note, the challenge comes with an awesome squat calendar workout.  I guess it's time to clean out the junk in the trunk.
Not all of it...just some...
If you would like to know more information about the challenge or the squat calendar then it is available at: http://www.blackweightlosssuccess.com/august-challenge-2013-cut-the-junk/#.UfnKLNvn-01

P.S.-This is the third blog in my new book and I have not lost it.  I am now able to read my own hand writing.  Yay me!!

Product Review: Green Giant Multigrain Barbecue Sweet Potato Chips

 

Just when you thought the Green Giant was sticking to its cans, they break out the bag...

Oh no, it's time for another product review!! 

This one is going to be a little different because I'm not going to compare it with something unhealthy.  We all know that a regular potato chip is greasy, salty, and pretty tragic to eat if your on a diet.  The number one thing that I want to say about this product is that I do NOT like sweet potatoes.  They are just too sweet, too mushy, and too potatoey.  So, trying to get me to convert to the mass production of sweet potato products has been an epic fail.  I have tried everything from the mashed sweet potatoes to the Burger King sweet potato fries but found every single one of those nasty as hell.

Just after writing that sentence, I have just offed my third bag of these chips.  They are addicting and if your not paying attention your going to eat the whole bag.

A reason for why these are unusually good is the amount of seasoning used.  They have completely covered up the nasty natural taste of the sweet potatoes with a southern style barbecue rib rub. (lol!)  The aftertaste does have a hint of sweet potato but it's not strong enough to have me running sick to the bathroom.

Here are some of the technical facts:

Serving Size- (About 16 chips)

• Serving Per Container- 5 (So times everything listed below by five if your planning to eat the whole bag)
• 120 Calories
• Total Fat- 6g
• Sodium- 190mg
• Total Carbohydrates- 17g
• Protein- 1g
• Sugars- 2g
• 14g of whole grain
• 0g trans fat
• Made with Real Sweet Potatoes (OMG!!)
• 40% Less fat than regular potato chips.
• Did I mention that they are delicious?

These chips can be a snack to satisfy any hunger and their zesty barbecue flavoring makes them irresistible!  This is a God sent alternative to a regular potato chip.  Green Giant also offers the sweet potato chips in other flavors and has a line of veggie chips.  In the state of Virginia (lol), they retail around $1.98.  I stress the words, "in the state of Virginia" because if you live in the bankrupt city of Detroit, the price range could start at $15.

 

My name is Sherri and I approve Green Giant's deceitful way of getting me to eat sweet potatoes...

...

...

My name is Sherri and I approve Green Giant's Multigrain Barbecue Sweet Potato Chips.

Recap: Excuses

Yes, I'm admitting failure...
My post lately have been so sporadic that some anonymous people are complaining.
You know who you are...
BUT...
I have excuses...
Two excuses that you will not see is that I had to work or go to sleep.  I'm quite sure that half, if not all, of y'all know this already.  I barely sleep due to the large amount of caffeine I shove down my esophagus just to stay happy and non-violent at work.  Let's just say that I have more excuses to slap on top of those two solid excuses.
Like for instance, I'm writing this blog while at Bingo, chowing down on refried French fries that this lovely lady has prepared for me.  She simply looked at me, dropped them fresh fries back in the grease, and cooked them aaaaallllll over again...
And now I feel fat...
That describes another excuse that I will never mention in the blog.  If I gain weight...I BLOG IT!! There is no excuse for me gaining weight.  I want people to know that I am normal and I make mistakes.  I'm not one hundred percent dedicated to my lifestyle so there are some days that I want a heart stopping burger from Hardee's.  I just know what the consequences are and what I am required to do in order to get back on track.  If I was to make up an excuse for gaining weight, I'm going to say that I gained muscle that week so y'all will know right off the bat that I am lying and in reality went to Golden Corral.
But back to my excuses...
Excuse #1: HOBBIES/LIFE
We all have a life...
My life has not caught up to how I managed to blog about everything.  Also, during my spare time, I have taken up fishing instead of blogging.  I find it very relaxing to sit on the pier and waste away the day fishing.  My new plan is to take my brand new Blogger book ( which I will talk about later) with me to the pier so I can also watch that fly over the railing deep into Davy Jones Locker.
(R.I.P lovely green six foot beach umbrella that protected me from the sun for two days.)

My goal for when I'm out on the pier is to out-fish every man out there.  When their spirit is hurt, I stab them in the heart by catching a beast fish and then letting it go screaming, "BE FREE, FREE WILLY!!"  You will know the day that I try to kill a man's pride when I walk out on the pier with a five inch stiletto in a mini-skirt...
I also have found out that guys sometimes get desperate...
Every blue moon, a guy will approach me in an attempt to flirt some fish out of me.
F.Y.I- It don't work...
I let them stand there until I pull out my Paula Deen machete to cut some bait.  At that point they don't know whether or not to stay or call 911 for premeditated manslaughter so they give me this line: "Oh... I see your busy raking in all the fish.  Let me, let you, go back to the thing....yeah....."
If they stand near me long enough, they won't get fish but I might make them a unagi or ebi roll with a side of ginger and send them on their way...
Excuse #2: BLOGGER BOOK

Half the time I write a blog, I literally write it down before I type it up.  I have a bad tendency of pressing the publish button before reading the blog post.  So instead, I read it in the book over and over again until it's right.  One day last year, I know I complained about not being able to find the book.  The post were coming up randomly afterwards because I HATE not writing it down first.  I feel like I'm going to slip something offensive in my messages (but that's what Facebook is for...)  A month after losing this book, it pops up!  It only looked like it took a dip in the toilet and after six unsuccessful tries of flushing it, was found under the sofa.



The only thing left to do is burn all the disease and death off of it.

 

Never mind...  It's dark and there's too many bugs out here.  If I lit this thing on fire, I would have to run for my life from every moth in Virginia.

 

My new blogger book is a little bit smaller, which means this will probably be the only entries in it before I lose it.  It has been so long since writing anything that I had to relearn how to write and spell.

 

The real reason I picked this book is that it describes the spirit being something like blah, blah, blah... but, at the very bottom, it says self-control.  I do believe the whole blog is surrounded by self-control to successfully lose weight.  The self-control to avoid temptation, exercise, and eat healthy and still manage to stay happy.

Excuse #3: GYM

Who knew that going to the gym would be considered an excuse for not blogging in the fitness blog?

Well, it is!!

I am going to the gym more often because I have different eating patterns thanks to the BWLW Monthly Challenge.  Five days of the gym translates into five missed attempts of posting.  Once I get home from the gym, there are only four things I want to do:

1. Sit the fuck down...
2. Eat something...
3. Sit the fuck back down...
4. Go to sleep

That is a permanent schedule of my after gym activities. No matter what you say or do, this will never change...ever...

So, there are my top three reasons for not blogging religiously.  Does this mean that I'm going to try harder to maintain a scheduled blog?

No...

July BWLW Challenge

It's time for a CHALLENGE!!

I found this great challenge while I was surfing my Facebook.  It is extremely challenging because of it's timing.

But... for the month of July, BWLW (Black Woman Losing Weight) has decided to dedicate the month of July to veganism.  Yup, I thought they had lost their minds too.  I mean, July is barbeque season and I am not in any mood to be barbequing celery.

This is probably why they called it a challenge... And like all challenges I come across, I have to try it first before I call it impossible.

The first day was kinda rocky...
I basically ate every food in the produce section of Wal-Mart and I was still hungry so I ate a tuna sub from Subway.

Part of this challenge includes setting your limitations...
I decided that during this month I will still consume eggs, milk, and seafood because if I didn't, I would die... I would die from starvation... Which I have almost experienced twice this week...
The challenge wants you to practice veganism for at least two weeks out of the month.  It is your choice how long you wish to continue afterwards.

Also part of the challenge includes dedicating five days a week to exercise....NO EXCUSES!!  This will be the easiest part of the challenge because four days of the week are already scheduled gym classes.
The site also includes a workout plan and calendar to assist your exercise at http://cdn.blackweightlosssuccess.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/June-2013-Calendarrevised.pdf

If you would like more information on this challenge or would like to participate it can be found at http://www.blackweightlosssuccess.com/no-meat-no-exercise-excuses-challenge-bwlw-july-challenge/#.UdL2ptvn-00

(P.S.--You do not have to be black or a lady to participate in this challenge, so do not make that the excuse for not trying...)