Recap: Excuses

Yes, I'm admitting failure...
My post lately have been so sporadic that some anonymous people are complaining.
You know who you are...
BUT...
I have excuses...
Two excuses that you will not see is that I had to work or go to sleep.  I'm quite sure that half, if not all, of y'all know this already.  I barely sleep due to the large amount of caffeine I shove down my esophagus just to stay happy and non-violent at work.  Let's just say that I have more excuses to slap on top of those two solid excuses.
Like for instance, I'm writing this blog while at Bingo, chowing down on refried French fries that this lovely lady has prepared for me.  She simply looked at me, dropped them fresh fries back in the grease, and cooked them aaaaallllll over again...
And now I feel fat...
That describes another excuse that I will never mention in the blog.  If I gain weight...I BLOG IT!! There is no excuse for me gaining weight.  I want people to know that I am normal and I make mistakes.  I'm not one hundred percent dedicated to my lifestyle so there are some days that I want a heart stopping burger from Hardee's.  I just know what the consequences are and what I am required to do in order to get back on track.  If I was to make up an excuse for gaining weight, I'm going to say that I gained muscle that week so y'all will know right off the bat that I am lying and in reality went to Golden Corral.
But back to my excuses...
Excuse #1: HOBBIES/LIFE
We all have a life...
My life has not caught up to how I managed to blog about everything.  Also, during my spare time, I have taken up fishing instead of blogging.  I find it very relaxing to sit on the pier and waste away the day fishing.  My new plan is to take my brand new Blogger book ( which I will talk about later) with me to the pier so I can also watch that fly over the railing deep into Davy Jones Locker.
(R.I.P lovely green six foot beach umbrella that protected me from the sun for two days.)

My goal for when I'm out on the pier is to out-fish every man out there.  When their spirit is hurt, I stab them in the heart by catching a beast fish and then letting it go screaming, "BE FREE, FREE WILLY!!"  You will know the day that I try to kill a man's pride when I walk out on the pier with a five inch stiletto in a mini-skirt...
I also have found out that guys sometimes get desperate...
Every blue moon, a guy will approach me in an attempt to flirt some fish out of me.
F.Y.I- It don't work...
I let them stand there until I pull out my Paula Deen machete to cut some bait.  At that point they don't know whether or not to stay or call 911 for premeditated manslaughter so they give me this line: "Oh... I see your busy raking in all the fish.  Let me, let you, go back to the thing....yeah....."
If they stand near me long enough, they won't get fish but I might make them a unagi or ebi roll with a side of ginger and send them on their way...
Excuse #2: BLOGGER BOOK

Half the time I write a blog, I literally write it down before I type it up.  I have a bad tendency of pressing the publish button before reading the blog post.  So instead, I read it in the book over and over again until it's right.  One day last year, I know I complained about not being able to find the book.  The post were coming up randomly afterwards because I HATE not writing it down first.  I feel like I'm going to slip something offensive in my messages (but that's what Facebook is for...)  A month after losing this book, it pops up!  It only looked like it took a dip in the toilet and after six unsuccessful tries of flushing it, was found under the sofa.



The only thing left to do is burn all the disease and death off of it.

 

Never mind...  It's dark and there's too many bugs out here.  If I lit this thing on fire, I would have to run for my life from every moth in Virginia.

 

My new blogger book is a little bit smaller, which means this will probably be the only entries in it before I lose it.  It has been so long since writing anything that I had to relearn how to write and spell.

 

The real reason I picked this book is that it describes the spirit being something like blah, blah, blah... but, at the very bottom, it says self-control.  I do believe the whole blog is surrounded by self-control to successfully lose weight.  The self-control to avoid temptation, exercise, and eat healthy and still manage to stay happy.

Excuse #3: GYM

Who knew that going to the gym would be considered an excuse for not blogging in the fitness blog?

Well, it is!!

I am going to the gym more often because I have different eating patterns thanks to the BWLW Monthly Challenge.  Five days of the gym translates into five missed attempts of posting.  Once I get home from the gym, there are only four things I want to do:

1. Sit the fuck down...
2. Eat something...
3. Sit the fuck back down...
4. Go to sleep

That is a permanent schedule of my after gym activities. No matter what you say or do, this will never change...ever...

So, there are my top three reasons for not blogging religiously.  Does this mean that I'm going to try harder to maintain a scheduled blog?

No...